I might have gender dysphoria and I really just want to know the definitive answer
asked by someone ·
30 replies
- the person who asked
There are times where I feel like I’m meant to be a woman. I sometimes daydream about being one. I’m a straight cisgender male (or I guess cisgender for now). I only just started realizing I could have gender dysphoria about 4 days ago. Growing up, there really weren’t many signs that I wanted to be the opposite sex. When I was little, I would very rarely sit down on the toilet to pee to see what it feels like being a woman urinating. I didn’t
- the person who asked
feel euphoria or anything, I just thought, “oh so that’s what it’s like.” I don’t know, I feel like I’m more anxious about the fact I might be transgender rather than having gender dysphoria.
- the person who asked
I sleep good, I’m doing well on my college, and wondering about if I’m a girl stresses me out a little bit. I keep telling myself, “I am not a woman, I am not transgender, I do not have gender dysphoria.” I don’t know if it’s just my anxious thoughts going crazy in my mind since I’m an anxious person in general
- the person who asked
I feel like I’m in touch with my feminine side than other guys, but it’s not so extreme to the point where I want to transition to a female. I’ve taken many gender dysphoria quizzes online and they all indicate that I do not have gender dysphoria, but that I am an androgynous person. The results say that I am heavily in touch with my feminine side but lean more towards masculine.
- someone who replied
Interesting. Thanks for sharing. That takes a lot of confidence and I hope that you come to some peace with this idea, either way. I’m not a professional so if you are serious about a diagnosis, probably look at working with one.
- someone who replied, again
I noticed you use the word I wonder if I ‘am’ a women. What do you mean by ‘am’?
- the person who asked
By that, I mean that I was destined to be a woman. At times, there would be this instinctual feeling that I was meant to be born female. I don’t know if it’s a truly instinct gut feeling or my anxious mind playing tricks on me
- someone who replied, again
What do you mean by ‘meant to be’?
- the person who asked
A sense that I’m supposed to be a female. Which I find odd because I have no desire to try on women’s clothing, I’m totally okay with being referred to “him/his/he”, and I don’t feel distress from being a male. So I guess I’m leaning more towards curiosity about what being a girl is like. I get excited by the idea of living as a female, but I don’t want it so bad that I want to become transgender
- someone who replied, again
Interesting. So it’s exciting and intriguing to you. Would you say that otherwise you live an exciting, intriguing, and fulfilling life in other aspects of your life? Like so much so that you enjoy who you are and what you do?
- the person who asked
Oh absolutely, I definitely do live a fulfilling and comfortable life. I truly enjoy who I am and I do love myself. I love to focus on my long-term goals and graduating college is one of those goals. I enjoy who I am and what I do. Your questions have made things a bit more clearer. So, I’m thinking that it’s just quarantine making my mind come up with these thoughts that make me question myself
- the person who asked
I have attraction towards females and I never questioned it. I never questioned if I was gay and I can comfortably say I am not gay. I just wish it would be the same for myself questioning my gender, like if I were asked, “do you want to be a girl?” I should have to say “no” very quickly, but in reality I would have to give a lot of thought to that question
- the person who asked
Which the answer would ultimately be “no”
- someone who replied, again
Cool. I’m glad you feel that way. I find we get ourselves into trouble if we try and self diagnose I find ‘am’ to be a troubling word because it implies permanence in an impermanent world. If you think that you might want to feel more like a woman,
- someone who replied, again
What’s so bad about trying it out and see how you it feels to you?
- the person who asked
It wouldn’t feel like me. “Me” being the true, masculine version of me. I am very in tune with my feminine side, but my masculine side dominates. If I were to try women’s clothing or make-up on, I would highly likely feel uncomfortable and take them off right away. Something I read about gender dysphoria is that in order to have it, one’s assigned gender has to be causing them extreme distress that would lead to mental illnesses like depression.
- the person who asked
Me being a cisgender male doesn’t cause me distress
- the person who asked
I think I’m mistaking/overthinking “me being in tune with my feminine side” as “me wanting to become a female”
- someone who replied, again
Maybe. Perhaps you are an empath and those feelings or emotions feel contradictory with you masculine feelings. Maybe you are reinventing your definition of what your gender truly is to you, independent of labels and not restricted to traditional ideologies of what a man or a woman ‘is’?
- the person who asked
I think you are right. What you said remains me of myself mentioning I’m androgynous. On the inside I’m androgynous, on the outside I’m male in appearance. Because of my androgynous emotions and processes, I find it easy to strike up conversations with either a male or female.
- the person who asked
And easy to understand the feelings and thoughts of either gender
- someone who replied, again
Perhaps. But there is the ‘am’ word. ‘I’m androgynous’ how come you feel it necessary to label or define it? Perhaps you exhibit or feel androgynous traits, why the need for certainty or reassurance or classification?
- the person who asked
I’m not sure, I subconsciously use “am” because that’s what defines me as a person. I can’t think of another word that’s not “am”
- someone who replied, again
Anything that doesn’t put you within the definition of that word. I am blank makes you fit inside the confines of what you and society define as blank. ‘I feel like, I exhibited traits of, I act like, I behave in a way...’ do you see how those puts the power of the statement on ‘I’ rather than ‘blank?’
- the person who asked
Ah, I see how using those statements do give more power on “I”. So the more appropriate way of saying how I feel would be, “I behave in a way that would be characteristic of both genders, but with special emphasis on the female side because I mainly exhibit emotional thoughts and feelings typical of a female”?
- someone who replied, again
Maybe. The important thing is that you define yourself in a way that is fulfilling and empowering. You are not constrained or forced to define yourself and need not seek a definition unless that definition wholeheartedly pleases you.
- the person who asked
You know, me thinking of that sentence, “I behave in a way.... special emphasis....” did make me feel empowered. My male body does not bother me; I feel like a male who has female thoughts and I am totally okay with that
- someone who replied, again
You sound pleased which brings me a smile. Going to caution you one last time: ‘female thoughts’. What are female thoughts? No need to answer. There are no male or female thoughts. Masculine thoughts feminine thoughts perhaps but again, give yourself the power to choose and define as you see appropriate, your thoughts, feelings and emotions don’t define your identity. They may make up a representation of it to which others can relate, but you
- someone who replied, again
Need not trouble yourself with fitting into a box or classifying your behavior unless it is in a way that pleases you. But enough of me for one night! 😃
- the person who asked
Thank you so much for this!
