I am going through a divorce, we don’t live together, we’ve been on and off for 2 years, I finally threw in the towel. I need to be happy. I’ve been talking to this guy I’ve known for a year or so, as friends, maybe a little crush… he has 2 girls, I have 2 boys, how do we even start to blend our family together?
asked by someone ·
7 replies
- a listed therapist
Congratulations!! Divorce is hard and I'm sure you've heard this but in case you haven't, I've never heard of a divorce that wasn't for the best. I mean, you can always get back together and if calling it quits is right it's right so good for you!! takes courage. What have your conversations been like with this new partner about bringing the families together? Do you share the same idea about what it is and could be?
- the person who asked
Oh my gosh, NO! I HAVENT HEARD THAT YET and it’s what I needed!!! We’ve always acted like we’re together, and he’s a trooper for having to put up with me talking about my ex and how much he bothers me (we have 2 kids together) and he is divorced too so he shares the feeling. He’s been divorced about a year longer than me, and we’ve brought the kids together and they get along great! He joked about making my ex mad and me move in with him.
- a listed therapist, again
Sounds like you get along well. I'd probably minimize the talk of exs as much as possible. Logistics, family obligations, and maybe the occasional exasperated comment, but too much misery about previous relationships in a new relationship can cloud the building of a new relationship and instead be centered upon the relief from the previous one which isn't a solid of a relationship footing. I'm not suggesting you do that, just making a note for
- a listed therapist, again
you to be aware of. A question back to him if he joked about making your ex mad moving in together might be 'it would, and would that be what is best for us right now?" Focus on building your relationship together, what's done is done.
- the person who asked
Today while dropping off my kids, my ex husband accused me of going on dates and “looking nice” and I didn’t look any different than normal… WHY DOES THIS BUG ME.
- a listed therapist, again
Because that’s a fucked yo thing to say to someone. Block him on all social immediately if you haven’t already. He should have no idea what you do in your personal life and no ability/right to comment on it or try and make you feel bad about your choices. Totally unacceptable and childish behavior
- a listed therapist, again
Please forgive me for being emphatic, that bothers me too and I spoke unfiltered. But seriously, he has no right to try and cut you down or make you second guess your decisions. Completely unacceptable.
