I have an overwhelming idea I might've been raped as a little kid, I remember my life since I was 3 and I can find a moment on which that could've happened, I also remember various experiences (very uncomfortable and with sexual connotations but not rape or even abuse) which might explain why I might have that feeling but the mere existence of that is freaking me out because why would I have that just because?
asked by someone ·
23 replies
- the person who asked
I can't find a moment*
- the person who asked
Why would I have that idea* Sorry, I'm out of it
- someone who replied
Do you have any reason to believe you were raped? Can anyone cooperate your story? Do you know your abuser, had a police report, abuser had a history of sexual assault, anything like that? Also, how come you have a feeling that you could have been raped? Because something happened to you or are you looking for a reason to explain how you are today?
- the person who asked
Not at all, that idea just popped in my head, not as an affirmation but as a what if
- someone who replied, again
Hum. Thats what the brain does. It comes up with answers if you are asking questions. What question were you asking such that your brain would threw out that potential idea?
- the person who asked
No, no, I didn't come up with answers, my brain itself came up with the idea "what if you got raped" out of seemingly nowhere
- someone who replied, again
Yes but that’s a potential ‘answer’ to something in your life that is begging a question. You don’t just come up with that out of the blue for no reason. You have to be asking a question about what’s contributing to your discomfort or pain u are feeling and the brain threw that out as a potential answer. It’s the same way that the brain arrives at the idea ‘maybe you should kill yourself’ - it’s the brain finding solutions to problems in your
- the person who asked
Oh well, lack of sexual life I guess, and being very aware of my anus
- someone who replied, again
Life. Despite how bad or destructive those ideas might be. It’s up to you to decide if it’s a good thought path to go down.
- someone who replied, again
Sorry, forgot to finish that last one and press send. Yeah, but thinking about maybe being raped because of those things is rearview mirror looking. I think it may distract from you making progress moving forward. Sexuality is not something that you can figure out in a vacuum. You need to get out into the world and figure out what you’re attracted to chemistry you can build and develop
- the person who asked
I'm just very concerned it might be true, it's just overwhelming
- someone who replied, again
Do you often come up with hypothetical situations for things that might not be grounded in any evidence?
- the person who asked
I don't think so
- the person who asked
I'm actually a scientist, I have no evidence to claim anything, I know, I'm just concerned
- someone who replied, again
Ok. So this is an isolated occurrence. Interesting. If you have no evidence to claim anything, what does claiming something give you? How come you are doing it?
- the person who asked
I really don't know, maybe it takes a bit of "guilt" off my shoulders, so I'm a virgin because of that and not because I'm unable to bind with people
- someone who replied, again
That’s sort of how I interpreted it as well. Your mind was looking to present an alternative. That’s actually untrue that you won’t have to feel the pain of reality. So you can agree it’s a distraction?
- the person who asked
Yah, maybe
- someone who replied, again
I’m glad you shared it here. Some thoughts you don’t need to buy in to. In fact, you shouldn’t. You can build up your skill at identifying which thought is going to be helpful or destructive and that should help you avoid putting too much into these random thoughts
- the person who asked
How can I develop that skill?
- someone who replied, again
Have you tried anything like that before? Much of that for me came with slowing my brains speed down or reducing monkey mind as the Buddhists call it. Meditation, mindfulness, food, exercise, sleep. Getting the basics down of better mental and cellular function makes it easier to decide how to respond to thoughts instead of getting wrapped up in them
- the person who asked
I meditate and workout. I really can't slow down my brain tbh, I am able to throw away "stupid ideas" though but this one, even if it was, didn't feel stupid but rather concerning
- someone who replied, again
Yeah those thoughts can be scary. Are you familiar with negative feedback loops? Where thoughts spiral and spiral out of control like a runaway train ? The key for me is getting off of that train. Recognizing I’m in it and making a decisions to allow the train to move past without me riding
