I am nothing and I have nothing. I have tried time and again to fix myself and my life but I just keep failing. I don't even know what I'd like to live for. I've been contemplating suicide for 4 years now, I just wish I was man enough to do it
asked by someone ·
24 replies
- someone who replied
Wow. I’ve felt so similar to this I’m so glad you reached out.
- someone who replied, again
What do you mean by try to fix myself and keep failing? What are you trying to fix and what makes you believe you are failing at it?
- the person who asked
I mean, there's clearly something wrong with me. As I said, I have nothing, and I've never had so it has to be because of me. There must be something wrong with me and that's why I can't have friends or a partner. I try to change and improve, I like to think I've actually been successful at that but I still have nothing
- someone who replied, again
I’m sorry you feel that way. If you believe you’ve made progress, how come you feel like you won’t achieve what you want? What is it that you are looking for?
- the person who asked
Just a normal life tbh. I want what people generally have. For instance, being able to sleep properly, friends, something I enjoy doing, etc.
- someone who replied, again
Yes those are all reasonable things. What’s going on with your sleep?
- the person who asked
I wake up at night. I just feel uneasy while I'm asleep
- someone who replied, again
Hum. Do you feel like you trust life? Generally speaking. So you trust yourself and your surroundings or do you feel like you live in a state of fear or anxiety? If so, what’s the source of that?
- the person who asked
I don't trust any of that, at all. I wouldn't say anxiety nor calm, maybe stress
- someone who replied, again
Where does this deep sense of mistrust come from?
- the person who asked
Things rarely go my way. I can't trust the future will be better because, historically, it's always gotten worse
- someone who replied, again
What do you think about that being a self-fulfilling prophecy? What do you think about our ability to create our own luck? We tend to find what we are looking for
- the person who asked
I don't believe that. I work very hard to change this, I try different stuff and, so far, I haven't given up. But none of that ever works
- someone who replied, again
Would you say that you’ve made progress? What do you mean by ‘works’ - what would that look like to you?
- the person who asked
Idk man, like, I do feel like I have more skills, know more stuff ans such but my life as a whole is no better than it used to. "Works" ig it'd look like seeing an actual change. Getting some of the things I've never got so far
- someone who replied, again
What are some of the things that you want that you’ve never seem to get? And are you the type of person that is pretty hard on yourself? Do you have a high expectations?
- the person who asked
As I said earlier: friends and/or partner. Yah, I do have high expectations. People themselves say I'm smart but after that they'll look at every mistake I make to say something like "maybe you're not so smart" It's annoying, I am what I am regardless of what people think, dumb or smart or even a fucking elf, why tf do they have to make me a part of their "perception" game?
- someone who replied, again
Perhaps because you are buying into it?
- the person who asked
Not at all, it annoys me beyond limits
- someone who replied, again
If it annoys you you are buying in to allowing it to influence you.
- the person who asked
Right. It might influence me the but I don't cause it. I'm only affected by it
- someone who replied, again
True. You create the story and the circumstances that defines what impacts you. Really much of it is imprinted on us from our childhood. And you are not powerless over it. You decide what it means to you and what you do with it
- someone who replied, again
You are powerful over your thoughts and feelings
- someone who replied
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