So have you ever been in a situation all you do is listen and help others when they troubled but whenever you are troubled you have nobody to talk to??
asked by someone ·
32 replies
- someone who replied
Yes. Often those that are the most open to listening to the woes of others carry the heaviest burdens. And nobody seems to want to hear about it because they are seen as ‘the strong ones’
- someone who replied, again
I know all about that. What’s going on in your life? I’d love to hear more about what your are thinking and feeling and listen if you are open to sharing
- the person who asked
You do understand i see
- someone who replied, again
lol. Takes one to know one :)
- the person who asked
Well. If you are okay with it. I won't mind sharing.
- someone who replied, again
I’d love to hear more
- the person who asked
And also i didn't i always sound like a victim if i try sharing my staff and it makes me feel as if the one listening think that i have the worse life. 😅😅
- someone who replied, again
You nailed something there. Some ppl do compete about who’s in the most pain. It’s a weird thing ppl do to get attention because they don’t feel they are getting enough support or reinforcement in other areas of their life. Sounds like you are around that and aware of it and I’d never think that about this but it speaks to your high level of self awareness and is kind of you to preface
- someone who replied, again
So what’s going on?
- the person who asked
Well sometimes i feel as if my blessings are locked somewhere on space to get to me not. I lean i am very different from others. I don't have anything to talk highly bout myself. My turn has never reached and i have a feeling the world is almost coming to an end. I am very unlucky. But when it comes to others I'm like a blessing. Its like I'm the one carrying peoples blessings 😅
- someone who replied, again
Perhaps that is one of your unique gifts, carrying other people’s blessing. How come you don’t feel like carrying your blessing? Why can you do it for others but not yourself? I realize it’s a hard thing to do and have struggled with it all my life too. And I think if you can be honest with yourself about this you will learn a lot
- the person who asked
I've tried that. Including putting myself first but I can't keep things to myself when i notice someone hurting or not doing okay. I regret afterwards for not doing anything. I don't know how to help me. I haven't seen my blessings yet. It's okay to feel appreciated but what i do for myself really. I just cry cos i know nobody will understand. I write a lot when i feel down or hurt. I learned to write songs/books as a way to express myself.
- someone who replied, again
I’m glad you are finding creative outlets for those feelings. That’s a good idea. Is there something about you that you think makes you not worthy of being loved or feeling loved?
- the person who asked
If they do listen they find me to be the problem and it hurts cos non of them see my point of view. I get angry and dismiss them or even neva talk to them. It's like what i am saying doesn't make and what they are saying it what it is. I know myself but they act like they know me better even from the story i just gave them. Like "have you tried to be..." have you ever thought of... To yourself ". " What if you get things wrong" Feels L.A s*pid
- the person who asked
I don't know. And i wish i knew cos i would try making things right.
- someone who replied, again
Does it feel like they are trying to fix you instead of understand who you are and what you are feeling?
- the person who asked
Exactly
- someone who replied, again
There are some reasons why ppl do this. I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, it’s just how they protect themselves. Many people are not comfortable feeling empathy for others, especially when they are close friends or family because if that person is saying, or you in this case, that you are in pain, the other person doesn’t like to acknowledge that maybe they are a part of the problem. If they push it back on you to say ‘change this do this’
- someone who replied, again
Then they don’t have to take responsibility for how their actions could contribute to you feeling this way. It is self defense. And it’s a way for them to avoid pain unfortunately by isolating you in the process
- someone who replied, again
I have seen this many times. Most often it is not that they are a bad person, they are more like not emotionally prepared or comfortable opening up to that pain within themselves that you are perhaps showing them. Even when you are not trying to do that but simply look for their understanding. It is a hard thing I’m so glad you shared about it
- the person who asked
See, i prefer honesty. Cos you will be honest with someone and after that find solutions to whatever thing is wrong. That's also where understanding comes in. Doing that won't fix anything, i mean look at me.I would rather have friends telling you the truth that those hiding you from it. It does hurt but eventually heals and life goes smoothly. Family or friends i feel its right being honest if you do care about someone and find solutions.
- someone who replied, again
Yes. That is a highly emotionally mature approach. You are being honest, courageous, and hoping to find resolution. It sounds like you wish someone would take that same approach with you but they don’t
- the person who asked
True. But all is well.
- someone who replied, again
You are leading the charge with your emotional awareness. Keep being positive and confident with your approach. Eventually it will run off on others and they will learn if they are open to change. And it will be because of your courage to keep showing up and being transparent honest and courageous. It will be lonely for a while and it will build great strength in you which you will be remembered and admired for
- the person who asked
But you know. Its like they seeing something i am wrong about and instead they lie about it and my doors won't open. Cos i am not yet awoken Knowing something so I'll change things on my side to.
- someone who replied, again
That’s hard and unfair. Again, that’s a self-defense mechanism where they are trying to protect themselves because they are not ready to be open to the fact that they might be wrong or have caused somebody else harm. Unfortunately, you cannot make them be opened to seeing things from your perspective, they are not ready. So all you can do is keep trying, keep listening to yourself, don’t change your story for them. Stay strong.
- someone who replied, again
You can still love and accept somebody even though you have this disagreement, you can show them Grace and it’s unfair when you are perhaps younger, and being put in a position to be more emotionally mature than other people. But that is your path, you walk a more challenging path than most people who want to put their head downand not be aware of this emotional intelligence that you are picking up on.
- the person who asked
I suppose. It is well.
- someone who replied, again
I hope these people can learn from you and I hope that you can reconcile. I went through something similar with my parents, and I have been lucky that my parents were open to change. And they have been growing. I hope you find the same thing and know that you are having these thoughts and feelings for a reason, you are not wrong. There’s not something wrong with you. Keep trying keep trusting yourself.
- the person who asked
I appreciate. Thank you for listening.
- someone who replied, again
Anytime.
- someone who replied
That's why I am here. No more mind to others if they listen or not. I think if we can vent here no one has to know anything. We are all happier like this.
