I am grieving with a big loss of a loved one, my mother. It is hard. This is the worst and lowest time of my life. She is my motivation. I want to prove to her that I am so capable. Now I am in a mess and lose every bit of my motivation. I cannot sleep long. She is on my mind 24/7. I think of her when she was alive. It has been six months. Thinking that she is not here for as long as I live makes my so anxious.
asked by someone ·
7 replies
- the person who asked
I really wish I can tell her everything has happened since she is gone. With the quarantine and other international issues, it is even harder to cope without her presence.
- someone who replied
Have you thought about writing a letter to her saying those things? No need to send it anywhere. Maybe keep a box where you write these letters, seal the envelope, and keep them sacred. Then you can open them one day or maybe give them to a loved one who you’d like to know how you are communicating to your mom.
- someone who replied, again
Forgot to say that must be really hard. You are brave and strong. And thank the lord that she didn’t have to bury you. You saw her through this life. I hope I can do the same for my parents.
- the person who asked
Thank you for you suggestion. I have been writing to her on a notebook. I want to tell her as much as I can. Sometimes I feel peace, but I feel anger too like now. Some friends told me to move on. Some are more understanding. I think I feel guilty for not treating her better, for arguing with her all the time, for being unable to convince her to go for treatment. Then I am angry at her for leaving too soon.
- someone who replied, again
Yes, those are complicated emotions. It’s not wrong to feel that conflict inside. It’s natural and part of the process. You are learning valuable things about yourself. They may feel hurtful and frustrating, but they are illuminating parts of you and your relationship that you can take forward into your life and honor as a gift that this experience has provided amidst the pain and struggle
- the person who asked
I think I am in a dream like state. I find that time has been going faster than it used to be. I am not as motivated to go to work. Then the working time has come and gone very fast. I do not know when I can get back to normal, if I ever will.
- someone who replied
That must be tough. Although I can understand that may not even begin to describe the emotions felt. I commend you for moving forward in any direction right now as that is a big step. I’m sorry that this happened. You are strong and will find your way by continuing to move forward and through
