Every day I wake up and think “what am I going to mess up today”. Every day I fuck everything up. Every day my will to live shrinks. Whenever I get things wrong I start crying and think “this is just another reason your a burden to everyone you know, a new reason to kill your self”. Everyday I think “what’s a good reason not to just throw myself in front of a bus” and I can’t come up with anything.
asked by someone ·
22 replies
- someone who replied
I have felt exactly the same way before. It’s a tough place to be in. But I can tell you, there are ways out of it. There are things you can do to change it. If I could, you could. There is nothing so special or different about either one of us that means we can or can’t. Maybe a few changes in your life could help you kick that feeling.
- someone who replied, again
Feeling like a burden to others is so hard. I struggle with that. What about you or what is it that makes you think you are a burden?
- the person who asked
Because I feel like all I can do whenever I try to do anything I do it wrong and it happens every time I do anything and all my friends I either annoy until I stop talking and leave or I just can no longer do anything with them because I’ve been replaced and the pandemic is making it so much worse and it’s all just depressing.
- someone who replied, again
Ok. What about their behavior makes it seem like you are a burden Or you have screwed up? How do you know it is negatively affecting others? Do they reprimand you?
- the person who asked
Whenever I go over to my friends house my brain just gravitates to using his stuff and it annoys the hell out of him but I can’t stop my self because whenever I say “One more thing” I play and end up forgetting (like everything else) and play longer and longer until he forcefully take it back and I get mad when i shouldt be and I end up pissing him off and then i hate my self for it and the cycle continues with every passing day but just differen
- the person who asked
t things and different people
- someone who replied, again
Ok. Do you admire the things that he or others have around you?
- the person who asked
Kinda but it’s mostly because I just forget every thing and get absorbed into something often messing a time sensitive task up like watering plants/grass flooding the yard or in the case of using his stuff just pissing him off, hating my self, and it just continues everyday with me ending up thinking “and that’s another reason I should remove myself from this earth”
- someone who replied, again
Yes. Is it true that when you get absorbed in these tasks, it’s one of the only times you feel like you are free or in control of your life? Does it feel like outside of these periods of time, you are being pulled by something
- someone who replied, again
?
- the person who asked
There are periods of my day when i can just forget about all that and just relax but they never lasted more than a couple of hours because I was playing games but when I have to do something if I mess it up which I seem to do almost all of the time it just starts the cycle all over again
- someone who replied, again
Ok. Thanks for sharing. I’m gonna get some sleep, chat more tmrw?
- the person who asked
Yea it’s almost 10 for me and I have to go to bed at 10 if I actually remember to go to bed
- someone who replied, again
How are you feeling today?
- someone who replied, again
Doesn’t sound like your parents instilled much confidence in you. Fair to say?
- someone who replied
Hi red crow, is there a chance this reply was meant for me?
- someone who replied, again
Lmg, Sort of but both of you are dealing with overbearing parents. Happy to continue the conversation with you on the other thread and the OP here.
- the person who asked
Sorry I completely forgot (go figure)
- someone who replied, again
How has your focus been the last few days?
- the person who asked
Today I’m doing work but I keep ending up on Reddit or anywhere on the internet and yesterday and the day before I’ve been grinding my ass off in games cause it was the weekend
- someone who replied, again
Ever heard of the pomodoro technique? Google it. It’s a great productivity hack
- the person who asked
I’m gonna try it. As it turned out there is a chrome extension for the exact purpose of using the pomodoro technique
