I'm going to kill myself tonight. Or at least try to. I'm sick of feeling this way and I'm sick of life treating me like crap. Nothing is worth it. All of the work I do is in vain. No one actually cares about me. Nothing ever goes smoothly. I try to be positive, but in the end it doesn't matter. Some people say you reap what you sow, but I only get negativity in return for trying to be positive. I hope I'll go to heaven tonight, but even if I go
asked by someone ·
6 replies
- the person who asked
to hell, it can't be much worse than it is right now. I hope I die without much pain. I hope I don't wake up tomorrow. I feel guilty about feeling this way because I am pretty well off financially. I hope my little brother isn't the one that finds my body. I will come home from practice, eat, take a shower, cut my self, and bleed out in the tub. We will all die one day, so why not just skip the rest of the pain and end my life today?
- someone who replied
I hear you. It gets hard to carry on sometimes. But you aren't alone. It may not be much, I'm just a random stranger, but I'm here. Is there anyone you could call right now?
- someone who replied, again
And please, I know it's hard to believe when you're hurting but it does get better. It does get easier. It is worth carrying on. Some days it feels like you're not going anywhere, and all is in vain - it is not. But it does take time. In a few months, in a few years, you'll remember today. And you'll see how far you've come. You've been through a lot - don't give up now.
- the person who asked
After reading your reply, I've decided to fight for one more day. It is just very hard to find that will to live. I reached out a while ago and my therapist put me on medication that I have been taking for about a month, but it isn't getting better. If anything, it's been getting worse. I've been on a steady decline for the past couple of years, and I can't see my life getting better.
- someone who replied
Use this as your bounce back point. Sounds like you were close. I've been close as well. Horrible place to be and someone got me help. I was able to back away from the ledge. Sounds like you just did. I'm grateful for Shannon reply. Glad you can see that people, even strangers really can be good and love and want the best for you. Sometimes you need strangers because the ones closest to us are usually the hardest to deal with
- someone who replied, again
OP, I'm so glad to hear you're taking steps towards getting better. It won't happen overnight though - and sometimes with therapy there's some trial and error. But you will get there. It may sound harsh, but in those moments it's normal not to see things getting better. And it hurts. That's exactly what makes it so hard to fight back. But you are strong. And you aren't alone. I know you can and will get better.
