I don’t know my own mind from reality, it’s so confusing I try to run from it all but either way it always comes back, I’m scared and tired I push everyone away but I don’t want to be alone, I hardly understand myself I feel trapped, I love everyone and I’m scared that they will leave me but hate them too and can’t help but push them away, I’ll do absolutely anything to get a way out of my own mind
asked by someone ·
6 replies
- someone who replied
Opening up here and sharing that is a great step toward progress! You don’t need to shoulder these questions yourself. It’s sounds like you are getting a lot of incoming messages and maybe you are having difficulty decoding the feelings and thoughts into a cohesive narrative that makes sense given your life experiences. That’s ok. That means you are growing or in an opportunity to grow who you are
- someone who replied
I don’t have much advice right now but all I can say is I relate with every word you say, I am paranoid of everybody and often feel in turmoil. I feel I am only comfortable around myself and then I start to get paranoid and delusional when I spend too much time alone. My mom and I have had a flawed relationship but I feel I cling to her so I don’t feel so alone and strange here. What helps me is just riding it like a wave of madness
- someone who replied, again
Just surviving through it basically in the kindest way I can. I don’t know if I’ll ever feel better, mostly because trusting is essential for sanity, but so is staying on alert and I know that I cannot be a fool again and relax and trust anyone. I’m trying to not be a fool, but I’m also trying to stay in touch with people in some kind, distant, loving way but I think getting close at this point actually feels wrong and immature of me. I hate that
- someone who replied, again
So much but I take what I can get. I try to take responsibility for my mess in this world. I read something that someone wrote. They said every time someone has been kind to me it has always made me kinder. Reading that touched me. I realized nothing else is important as kindness a long time ago. And I don’t care how much of a dunce that makes me at least I will never be selfish and deluded, and obsessed with my own self and desires andillusions
- someone who replied, again
I’m sorry if this didn’t help
- someone who replied, again
I think if we were honest and kind to eachother, which I believe is the humane nature of human beings, I don’t think you and I would feel so much like this. But since the worlds ambition is driven by selfishness, and greed and so much disregard for the suffering of others, it becomes a messy, polluted place
