I feel odd, a weird mix or emotions and feelings. I would love to have somebody to talk to

20 replies

• the person who asked·5 years ago

  I just feel really anxious, big change coming up, honestly I thought I was "training" for this the last few years but now that the time has come I'm not sure if I will be able to do it. I have a lot of problems in my life and I stupidly thought getting this might help with that, but I haven't even started yet and it alredy feels like it's not going to help, honestly, if it doesn't then I don't know what to do, I'm lost

• someone who replied·5 years ago

  Ok. Care to share what that big change is and what gives you concern about your ability to manage what’s next?

• the person who asked·5 years ago

  I was living at my parents the last 2 years due to covid, now I have to go out, face the world and find my way, seems like they don't like the idea and honestly, I don't quite either. I worked on myself this last two years, I really am proud because I feel like a made huge changes for the better, and now things are actually as I predicted (they're not going my way but they are happening as I thought they would)

• the person who asked·5 years ago

  I thought I would make some friends, find a partner and that would make me feel better but the last 2 years I've felt awful and I thought doing that would help me, I have the chance to do it, everything is there for me to do so but I don't know if I can, also, I've been looking at it closely and it doesn't feel like it would help, I'm not able to feel the way I want to feel, the way I thought I would feel when this day comes

• the person who asked·5 years ago

  So I'm just lost, I was kinda looking forward to this moment and it's actually what I thought it'd be but I don't know what's wrong with me, I'm afraid this is going to be always the same, that everytime I have the chance to do what I want I realize it'd not going to be what I wanted. I'm losing hope, I just feel like giving up

• someone who replied, again·5 years ago

  Thanks for sharing. Would you say that you have expectations about yourself and what you life ‘should’ look like? Do you feel like you might be switching between to voices all the time internally about what you are and what ‘should’ be?

• the person who asked·5 years ago

  Yes I do but it's more like a three way, what I am, what I should be and what I'd like to be, all different. I really want some things, or so I think until something inside makes me doubt if I really do. I want to stay this way, I want to change, I want to be different and the same, makes no sense. Honestly, I think things a lot, I go too far. The way I see other people live affects the way I see my own live even if their actions don't involve me

• someone who replied, again·5 years ago

  Yes. I think I understand. Thanks for walking through it. I have felt like that before. Sort of an existential dread that can turn to dark feelings or thoughts, triggered by various different things. I think to some degree it’s part of growing up and thinking critically about what you want in live. You are clearly learning from others and trying to think through a plan of life that serves you so that’s good to hear.

• someone who replied, again·5 years ago

  Sounds like maybe sometimes though you go too far and it makes you feel scared or bad about yourself. Is that safe to say?

• the person who asked·5 years ago

  I don't even think it's going too far, doing the smallest things (or not doing it) can trigger it

• someone who replied, again·5 years ago

  Yes I mean in terms of like a negative thought train that spirals and spirals because of this triggers. Called a negative feedback loop that just keeps going and going and is difficult to stop. Does that sound familiar?

• the person who asked·5 years ago

  It does

• someone who replied, again·5 years ago

  Yeah. That’s more common than you might think but nobody really talks about it. To me, it’s more about skill development. When I was younger I was more worried about me and something being wrong but as I’ve aged I’ve realized it’s more about building mental skills and habits to be able to slow down and step off the negative train. If that resonates with you we can discuss how that might be accomplished

• the person who asked·5 years ago

  I'd love to hear about how to acomplish that

• someone who replied, again·5 years ago

  There isn’t a magic bullet solution but it is fairly simple. Simple, but not easy. Think of a River. Each time water flows through a path the river digs deeper and becomes more pronounced. Thoughts function the same way. The more times they are thought, the deeper or stronger they become. The first step is knowing when you are on that negative thought train and recognizing ‘oh, I’m going down this same negative path that I’ve gone before’. Does

• someone who replied, again·5 years ago

  That make sense?

• the person who asked·5 years ago

  It does but it's not just thoughts, it's the feelings too, what I feel at the moment when I'm actually there doing or about to do something

• someone who replied, again·5 years ago

  Makes sense. Well the first step is recognizing it. The second step is accepting it. Accepting what you feel may in some way be ok or need not be changed or ‘not be there’. Third step is making a conscious choice about what to do next.

• someone who replied, again·5 years ago

  You probably already relatively know this but maybe struggle to do it in the moment. There are ways to build these skills. You are not destined to exist in this current state forever

• the person who asked·5 years ago

  Alright, thank you sir