I'm so sad, I just feel sad but not depressed as always, rather sad as a little kid, the way I used to feel back when I was younger
asked by someone ·
33 replies
- someone who replied
Interesting. I’d love to hear more about that because the idea of child like sadness vs depression is fascinating. Has anything changed recently in your life that’s triggered these emotions?
- the person who asked
Well, I'm back to school, first day and everyone is alredy making friends and hanging out, having fun, everyone but me, as always
- someone who replied, again
Yeah. I can see how that could feel sad. It’s hard to feel left out.
- someone who replied, again
How come you said ‘as always?’
- the person who asked
Well, that's been life for me, that has happened every first day of school, everyday of my life in general
- someone who replied, again
Would you say this is something that you wish wasn’t true? Like do you wish this wasn’t this way? I know it’s a simple question I just do to want to assume.
- the person who asked
I do, I wish it wasn't this way
- someone who replied, again
Would you say that you try to make friends and break out of your comfort zone or would you say at this point you are pretty resigned to attempting at breaking down that barrier?
- the person who asked
I try but seems like everyone is settled and doesn't need/want anymore friends
- someone who replied, again
Yeah I can see how it feels that way sometimes. What are your interests and hobbies?
- the person who asked
Lots, music, art, science, I know about a lot of things seems like that pushes people away
- someone who replied, again
Intelligence can be intimidating. Mind sharing what school level you are in? High/college/middle whatever. Also, what sort of those things in art science or music are specific? Like what type of music, art and science are you drawn to?
- the person who asked
College senior, music pretty much playing instruments, guitar, piano etc Art I like to sculpt and science I'm into rocketry
- someone who replied, again
Those are Interesting. Huh. How comfortable would you say on a scale of 1-10 of approaching people and introducing yourself?
- the person who asked
Like 4
- someone who replied, again
How come? What makes you feel that way as opposed to a 6 or a 7?
- the person who asked
I tried to talk to a girl today, I noped out of there 3 times
- someone who replied, again
Good for you! I’m glad you are building up to it! It’s ok that it didn’t work out. Trying is a great step in the right direction. If you keep it up I promise it will change.
- the person who asked
Well, I don't know about that, I've been trying for a long time, trust me Any tips? I really want to stop being thos lonely, it hurts so much, I saw a lot of things today that made me glad but also really sad and I'm just confused, tired and sad, I don't know what to do
- someone who replied, again
That’s ok. What feeling sad sounds like to me is your body’s response to longing for that type of companionship. And for me, that is a beautiful thing to admit, to accept, and to rest in. Try this, if it’s true, how does it feel to try to or to say & accept that you long for company? Period full stop. What arises in you? First thought/feeling
- the person who asked
It feels real, I agree I long for it
- someone who replied, again
That’s great! What are the negative consequences of reaching and trying to meet people? Rejection, disappointment, let down. Which is worse? The temporary feeling of rejection or the lasting feeling of loneliness and isolation?
- the person who asked
I've been rejected so many times (every single time) but somehow I'm ok with it, I just freeze when I try again and it's feeling like it doesn't matter how much I try I'll always fail
- someone who replied, again
Hum. Time to get some new skills! That’s all it is. It’s not that something is wrong with you. Sparking a conversation is a skill and it can be learned. You can learn, get better, and succeed at it
- the person who asked
How do I do it then?
- someone who replied, again
When I was having difficultly meeting girls I actually started watching videos on YouTube about how to do it … sort of embarrassing but it helped
- someone who replied, again
I usually try and have a small goal in mind like introduce myself. Find out something about them, share something about myself, see if we have something in common, then get out like say ‘maybe I’ll see you around’. That’s a positive interaction right there. No need to over complicate it out of the gate. Build up to the numbers and the dates
- the person who asked
What I usually do is something along the line if "hey, I think you're pretty and I just wanted to say hi" we always talk a bit and it end with her saying she has a boyfriend (or girlfriend that one was new) Am I doing it wrong or is it actually a numbers game?
- someone who replied, again
It is a numbers game. But I’d rethink the I think your pretty line. It’s sweet and gentle, but, and this is going to sound harsh, it’s a bit like coming to them hat in hand old school. I think you want to move more towards confident and unpredictable.
- the person who asked
Well, I don't want to be the douchebag who thinks he's doing the girl a favor but honestly I don't know what I'm doing so I trust you, what can I use as an opener?
- someone who replied, again
For sure. Not douchy but confident. You gotta believe you are a catch for her to. I am no expert but I’d start simple. ‘Hi my name is x, what’s yours?’ Make an observation like if they are studying or reading and ask a few questions. What are you doing here, what are you reading, what are you watching/listening to. Something that shows you are genuinely curious about them and who they are. Ask open ended questions
- someone who replied, again
It will be obvious if you are getting 1 word answers or if you can build into a give and take conversation where you are both sharing and learning about each other
- the person who asked
Alright, cool, I'll do that, thanks a lot
