My wife and I had a conversation a couple of months ago where she felt threatened by a co-worker of mine. I told her not to worry about it however this co-worker does drum up feelings of excitement and giddiness, however it is absolutely drenched in anxiety and guilt. I feel like shit as I believe I lied to my wife but I know I don't like this girl, as these feelings have happened before with very quick turnaround but I feel guilty and afraid
asked by someone ·
5 replies
- someone who replied
Man. Thanks for sharing. Tbh, I don’t think that you’ve done anything wrong here. Flirting is one thing. Hard not to do sometimes but if you are committed to your wife and it’s truly just a harmless flirt where you don’t believe you are playing a longer game to move it to an affair is not a big deal. I’ve been in situations where that has led to ‘hey come over for wine this Friday’ and I was like ok, that was too far.
- someone who replied, again
You’ve got to be super clear inside. Are you actually looking for something in this work friend your wife isn’t giving you or is it just for fun? I’d examine the idea that you’ve somehow lied to your wife, how come you feel guilty about that statement that she’s not a threat? Is that true? Is she a threat? Either way this is a good exercise to be introspective and brutally honest about what you’re feeling inside. I wouldn’t talk to your wife yet
- the person who asked
I was not looking for anything at all, however the fact that there was some feeling on my behalf is what's gutting me. It is an emotion I can't describe other than a bit of a crush with absolute dread. My wife gives me absolutely everything I could want in a partner and that's why I think I'm so baffled too.
- the person who asked
I appreciate the reply too!
- someone who replied, again
For sure, sounds like your head and heart are in the right place. Bottom line, even if you are committed to your wife, I believe it’s impossible not to have some level of attraction to other women. I think it’s completely normal, and nothing to be worried about.
