How can i heal from avoidant attachment and anxiety
asked by someone ·
20 replies
- someone who replied
Healing starts with understanding that ur urge to pull away is ur brain trying to protect you, not a flaw. By noticing ur triggers and questioning anxious thoughts, you can build healthier connections without losing your independence. Learn to communicate ur feelings instead of withdrawing, calm ur mind with habits like breathing or journaling. It’s a long process, but dw! what's making you feel like this?
- the person who asked
I dont know actually ive been pushing away the one i love bc i always think he would be better with someone else maybe cs i have a low self confidence, i prefer to stay lonely than ruin his life
- someone who replied, again
bless you, I get how u feel as I was in a similar place. Maybe talking to him and being open (if u trust him) is the best solution so he can try support you when he can! You are not ruining his life in any way but the best thing to do is communicate ur issues to him so there won't be any conflict within the relationship! It's okay to feel confused, it's normal don't worry 🩷
- the person who asked
He knows and he always supports me and tries to convince me the opposite but it doesn’t work for me 😭 i always think im bad for him but i wanna heal so we can be together otherwise ill always feel anxious
- someone who replied, again
oh stop bless that's so sweet! If that's the case then maybe confining with a group of ur friends and having support around u is the best option! or having a councillor/therapist, alternatively having a hobby may reduce ur anxiety levels 🥹
- the person who asked
Ill try thank u 🙏🩷
- someone who replied
@rin unbelievable. I completely agree. I have to ask OP, what makes you think you are so bad? Why don’t you like yourself or believ you are worth of love?
- the person who asked
First of all i think im useless literally at everything i cant handle someone s love cs it feels heavy on me like i ask myself why would he choose ME? and i also have some phobias im afraid those fears might prevent me from giving him a better life like idk he might not be happy w me
- the person who asked
So i feel like I’m struggling mentally bc of this and im not completely stable which can affect him and our relationship
- someone who replied, again
What makes you say you’re useless at everything?
- the person who asked
Well unfortunately its my reality, im not good at anything i struggle with social interactions, and I’m not good at housework. I dont do anything in my life except studying
- someone who replied, again
Hum. Do you want to change that or are you needing to only focus on studies now? Do you have parents that are hard on you?
- the person who asked
Yea i wanna change it, and maybe my parents had a role in shaping my personality like this
- someone who replied, again
Start learning! Anything can be learned and I know you know that. But before you get there I think it might be helpful for you to practice talking about yourself differently. Try this. Say to yourself I’m your head ‘I am a good person’ then say it out loud ‘I am a good person’ how does your mind and body react?
- the person who asked
Yes it will be helpful i bet, ill try my best i hope i can heal till then. Thank u 🙏
- someone who replied, again
Rewrite your internal dialogue. The words you say to yourself matter. try speaking more positively about yourself! You get nothing by being negative, we think we are protecting ourselves, but that protection is fake. It takes courage to believe in yourself. I believe in you. You can choose to too
- the person who asked
🥹🙏🙏🩷
- the person who asked
Im thinking abt going to a therapist to heal from my phobia i really wanna do tht cs i cant do it by myself ive been struggling from the fear of hospital and doctors ext… which will always make my life harder for me
- the person who asked
Im thinking abt going to a therapist to heal from my phobia since I cant do it by myself, cs i have fears from hospitals and doctors ext… which will always make my life harder for me ive been struggling from ths since i was a kid
- the person who asked
🙌
