25F. I am just idling through life. When it comes to compassion for life, for others, and myself.. I have that. My problem is this latent loneliness and despair. In relationships I have observed and experienced I realized how ugly things can get between people and how ego is a filter and is the culprit of so many complications and delusions, but also a lot of innovation and brilliance. I would feel so much better if I just had a good friend.
asked by someone ·
9 replies
- the person who asked
Complicates things. I used to be suicidal but it’s gotten better because I’ve realized some profound things about life and love but that doesn’t take the pang of loneliness away. Even still I struggle with suicidal ideation less frequently just because of how badly I ache for a wholesome bond that isn’t threatened by some unnecessary bullshit. Life seems pointless if I’m just here to accomplish things for myself. I want to be here for others
- the person who asked
And others to be here for others and others to be here for me without ulterior motives. I don’t even feel like I’ve said what I wanted to.. these days I feel so dumb and like I can’t communicate no matter how fully and profoundly I feel things. This is all a context for my question.. how in the world do I cope without connection? I don’t have the desire to live life for myself or indulge or enjoy things in vain. There’s no distraction that can
- the person who asked
Replace connection
- someone who replied
Very thoughtful post. You are clearly a deep thinker and that's intimidating to a lot of people. That can make it harder to form lasting relationships because you may not easily be fooled or can see through inauthentic people or actions. I think it's rare that people forgo connection. It happens, monks meditation for year etc. But even they have community around them that is working with and for them, supporting them, and caring for them.
- someone who replied, again
Humans need connection, much like all mammals are social beings. We depend on each other because it makes us stronger. 'Into the wild' communicates that well. It sounds like you've been hurt by some relationships which has inhibited your enthusiasm for them. That's ok. You need not push back into relationship right away, sometimes space can help you reevaluate what's important. I can assure you that you won't be lonely forever if you put some
- someone who replied, again
Energy I to building relationships. Its messy, but wade through some of that awkwardness and laugh it off or roll with it and you can form lasting relationships.
- the person who asked
The sincerity of your reply touched me. I’ve been to a few therapists and what you said has resonated more than what I’ve taken from my visits there. I’ve struggled to feel like I was doing things correctly unless someone was there affirming me. Their authority felt like the structure and confirmation I so desired. Now I have to be that role for myself. And it throws me off. I can feel lost, it’s def a challenge. I think we all wanna be seen
- the person who asked
That’s a fundamental part of existence itself. Hurt has caused me to retreat and meditate and learn from my experience, learn about what real love truly is. Now that I’ve had some time to mend I need some time to embrace being that executive/authority for myself. I have to be both the mother and the child, and that’s why love is so important. Thanks for your thoughtful advice, it truly helped.
- the person who asked
Also- I’ll have to check out Into the Wild!! been interested in watching, just haven’t seen it yet
