This guy that I’ve been talking too we have been haven’t been having a lot of sex and it’s recently been getting to me. Idk sometimes he turns me on and sometimes I’m just so turned off by him. Idk and he gives me so much more and that’s why I like him. But trying to dial in our sex relationship has been nothing but struggle and normally I feel like that’s the fun part. Any ideas for making our sex life a positive one?
asked by someone ·
10 replies
- someone who replied
Hum. Do you feel like you can speak your mind freely? Like if you didn’t feel like having sex you could say that out loud freely and he would respect that or does it sometimes feel not so free to say?
- the person who asked
He has been closed minded before about stuff I’ve asked about just things not necessary meaning I wanna do it. And since we’re being honest he cums within 5-10 minutes and that’s it and it makes me not wanna have sex w/ him as much cuz I’m not gonna finish &idk he just does things that turn me off and I just don’t even know what to do anymore cuz I feel like he has been the best guy for all the other things like taking me out and showing he cares
- someone who replied, again
Those are tough conversations to have. Do you feel comfortable open that up what you’ve just shared? I thought that was helpful what you said
- the person who asked
Yeah I have told him how I felt and he just says he is trying and I give him too much pressure....
- someone who replied, again
Hum. Do you believe him?
- someone who replied, again
Or does it feel brushed off?
- the person who asked
No I believe him it's just hard
- someone who replied, again
That’s good. Open lines of communication are key. Sounds like you are just going through some stages of relationship transition. How long have you been seeing each other?
- a listed therapist
Have you explored within yourself why sex is a hot button for you? Our early experiences lead us to have beliefs about what is 'right' or what 'should be' and they can get in the way of being in relationship. The right amount and type of sex in a healthy relationship depends on both people being able to say no when they feel no. Then when he/she says yes, you know it's a real yes - that's when magic happens.
- someone who replied, again
Any update to share?
