Hello there, I've never been in a relationship before but lately I've been talking with this awesome girl I really like and even when it took me a while to accept it, I'm starting to think she might like me back. I've been trying to tell myself the nice things she does to me are just common human kindness but people around me seem to think she likes me She does confusing stuff, ngl, but if there's a chance she might like me
asked by someone ·
21 replies
- the person who asked
Then I'm willing to make a move but that's the problem, I know nothing about relationships, I've never had a girlfriend before and I'm kinda scared to even touch her, last time we met she hugged me and I didn't know how to react, I tried to hug her back because I really wanted to but I'm just stupid. Anyway, I'm looking for advice, how do I let her know I like her without being too direct and literally telling her?
- someone who replied
You don’t have to let her know. She’ll understand if you act in the best interest of you both and it’s a mutual shared interest in a relationship. Before I get too far into it though congratulations! That’s exciting and I’m happy you have feelings for someone in that way. That’s really fun. Would you say rn that you are friends or acquaintances?
- the person who asked
Well, yah, kinda We've been talking for almost over 2 months but we've only been alone twice because she got sick and we could not meet for quite some time. Everytime I "ask her out" she says yes, sometimes we cancel and reschedule. She's told me things I consider to be really personal and delicate, however, it takes her forever to reply to my texts, that and the rescheduling makes me a bit doubtful but...
- the person who asked
I've realized she's never lied to me so now I just think she has a lot going on rn and sometimes she just forgets stuff, we're both students and I know that's her priority and I'm ok with that, I wouldn't want her to change that for me. I just want to keep a cold head but I'm starting to believe she likes me too, I'm really cold and I don't know if she is too or if she doesn't want to get too close because I'm cold
- the person who asked
I love her personality, she's so sweet and cute and I want to be careful but I believe she's the girl of my dreams However, I'm kinda scared to touch her, mostly because I don't know how to do it properly and I just don't want to make her feel uncomfortable Same for compliments, the most I've done was calling her smart when we met and I told her she has pretty eyes last time we met. So yah, I guess that's it, maybe she's just being nice
- someone who replied, again
Could be. I agree it’s not helpful to get too out in front with the assumptions around what it ‘could be’. Try and stay in the present and not get too in your head. Keep trying to engage when it makes sense, if you like her try and spend time with her. Let her respond and don’t look too far into her replies or actions. Stay centered and continue building yourself up so that you feel good about what’s going on in your life
- the person who asked
Been trying to do that but I just feel like I should be doing more
- someone who replied, again
There isn’t! If you are waiting on a response from her you have to give her time. It’s important not to be too fixated on her because she will feel that. Play your hand and then wait for her response. It’s a hard truth to accept but by ruminating on it you will just be making it harder for yourself
- the person who asked
No, no, that's not what I mean I went through that ruminating phase before, I've alredy accepted it takes her a while to reply but I'm ok with that now, I also came to think she might be manipulating me since she's a psychology major but I guess I've left that behind by now. What I mean by "doing more" is being more "warm" (?) I'd say, as I mentioned, I want to touch her and tell her pretty things but I just don't know how
- someone who replied, again
My mistake! Oh yeah I’d totally support breaking the contact barrier. Start small like gently touching her forearm or if you open a door you can ask for her hand to lead her through or guide her with your hand on her back. If you are sitting next to each other you could lightly touch her lower thigh/knee if she says something funny. Shoulders are always safe too. Breaking the contact Barrier in a low risk way is criticalto get a feel for if she
- someone who replied, again
Would be welcoming or further escalated physical contact
- the person who asked
So, should I just touch her on those places? Is it respectful?
- the person who asked
We're usually sitting when we meet, I kinda had the chance to sit right next to her but I got another chair and kept my distance
- someone who replied, again
You could ask her first if you are unsure otherwise if it’s not sexual and it’s contextually relevant and respectful, not lustful, I don’t see a problem with it. I was just listing scenarios and would hope those are appropriate places but idk entirely how she would feel
- the person who asked
Yah, makes sense, I guess it would be awkward for me to ask her, kinda like "can I touch you?" Sounds weird, ngl. Also, any advice on how to compliment her/tell her nice things?
- the person who asked
I'm not really horny tbh, she's so beautiful but that's not what I like the most about her
- someone who replied, again
Sure! Comment on the things that you notice about her that you like that make her unique. Like point out the things about her that caught your attention
- the person who asked
I told her she has pretty eyes and she said "thanks, I guess it's because they're not that common" I didn't know what to reply so I switched the topic but hours later I thought about what I believe to be good responses, that happens often, at the moment I'm empty I just don't want to make her uncomfortable, that's my biggest setback
- someone who replied, again
Sounds like you are doing great! It’s ok not to know, speak when something strikes you in the moment when you are with her. That’s true authenticity, speaking from the heart, sure you can plan, but it sounds like you are doing a great job of building a relationship and intimacy so congratulations!
- the person who asked
Well, it means a lot, thank you so much I'll do my best and I'll follow your advice, I hope it turn into something good for us both. Thanks a lot for listening
- someone who replied, again
Anytime! 👍🙌
