Hi, I'm the guy from 3 posts ago (I hope you can see previous posts, the guy who likes a girl but doesn't know how to show it, yup, that's me) Well, I saw her today again and I just feel lost, I don't know what to do anymore, would you be kind enough to listen?
asked by someone ·
18 replies
- someone who replied
Hey! I’ll listen. What’s going on?
- the person who asked
Well, I just don't know what to do anymore, I did what I said I would, she's just not responsive. For intance: I said "wanna hear a secret?" She just said yes but didn't even seem intrigued, then I told her everytime I see her again I feel nervous, she then asked why and I said "because you're so smart and pretty and nice and I don't see that very often" and she just said "thanks, you're handsome and smart too, don't be nervous"
- the person who asked
That was it, I didn't get a reaction from her, neither good nor bad, she didn't look uncomfortable nor excited, her mood didn't change. I think I complimented her more than ever, same thing, she just says thanks, no change in her mood I even hugged her twice (hello and goodbye) and she did this weird thing were she rubs her hand in my back up and down but still, no change in mood
- the person who asked
The only thing I think made her change her mood a bit was when I noticed she has a banana in her bag and I said so and at the time I though she was being a bit sarcastic but now that I think about it that probably made her a bit upset. So, the problem is I just don't know what to do next, I think I did what I thought would work and seems like it didn't so now what? Should I just stop here?
- someone who replied, again
What do you mean by the banana in the bag and her being sarcastic? I’m not following
- the person who asked
Literally that, she always has a banana in her bag and I pointed that out and she said "yes, I like them, is that a problem?" I said "no, I just noticed that you always have one but you never eat it" and she said "well, it's my afternoon snack, you know what that is?" "Yes" I replied It sounded like sarcasm at first (I don't get sarcasm that well) but now that I think about it she was probably upset for just a moment
- the person who asked
This just happened We talked about a kind of flower she likes and I saw on my way to school so I took a picture and sent it to her She said "thanks a lot, they're so pretty" I replied "you're welcome, they're just as pretty as you" And, as always, she replied "Thanks hahah" same old same
- someone who replied, again
You are saying really sweet things to her. The banana thing she probably got defensive and snapped back. I don’t think it’s anything you did. Actually it was a perfect observation and that genuine curiosity is exactly what you want to stick to when with her. Genuinely and curiously explore who she and you can be together.
- someone who replied, again
I’d probably slightly scale back the flattery and generally the emphasis on changing her mood. She’s giving you the time of day and responding so you don’t need to second guess yourself there. You have crossed that bridge. Focus on seeing if you two can have fun together and experiment with different sides of yourself, goofy, serious, heartfelt, grotesque, brutal whatever it is. Try and have varied experiences together and genuinely explore life
- someone who replied, again
And each other. Put the focus on experiencing life together and through that experience get to know one another. Sometimes the straight up conversation can get hard to float. Go do stuff(if you havent already)
- the person who asked
So, what do I do know? My brain is empty I haven't replied to her "Thanks hahah" any advice on what to say next? I'm so sorry to bother you again but you were really helpful and I'm truly lost, when I'm with her it's the only moment of my life when I really feel like I don't know what I'm doing
- someone who replied, again
No worries! Leave it be. Do you have a plan for your next date?
- the person who asked
Well, I don't know if we could call it dates since we only meet at campus and all we do is that but no, not really Last time we both kinda had a hard time coming up with questiond, lots of "hmm" yesterday Also, once we sit down she doesn't really like to stand up, once she said it was hot and I said "let's go get an ice cream" but she said "don't worry, it's ok" Or yesterday when we talked about the flowers I told her I could show her
- the person who asked
And she said the same "don't worry, it's ok" To me it feels more like she thinks it's a bother and she doesn't want to bother me, does that make sense? Because she never says "I don't feel like it" or "no, thank you" it's always "it's/I'm ok, don't worry" like she doesn't want me to do those things for her? I don't know, I never know
- someone who replied, again
And you won’t know! But your inclination is probably more right than it is wrong. So believe in your gut. Try doing something different for your meet. Go for a walk, meet outside for a picnic or to eat lunch together, recommend going to a movie or a campus event. Find something that genuinely interests you that you would do with or without her and then invite her to join.
- the person who asked
Well, there is some sort of playground on campus (weird, I know), they have this huge connect 4 game, and jenga and some more. I've been wanting to play but I've never had anyone to play with, I think we could do that next time, how does that sound?
- someone who replied, again
That sounds great! Give that a try and lmk how it goes
- the person who asked
Ok, I will Thanks a lot, again
