Hey hi, the guy who can't really seem to understand the girl he likes here, third post Change of plans, next time I see her I'll be direct and explicitly tell her I like her, then I'll ask her what she feels What do you think?
asked by someone ·
24 replies
- someone who replied
What makes you want to do that? What sort of answer are you looking for that might help you?
- the person who asked
Well, important context, she's a exchange student from germany so she won't be here forever, the semester is almost over, though she will stay here until february we won't be able to meet the way we've been doing it, I'm sure if we like each other we can find a way but it feels like it's now or never, I don't want her to leave without knowing I like her, I don't want to feel like I didn't do what I had to.
- someone who replied, again
What makes you think that she doesn’t know you like her or might be uncertain about if you like her?
- the person who asked
I don't really care about the content of her answer, I just care about having one. Tbh I'm almost sure I'll get rejected, as always, but at least I'll be able to go home this winter knowing I said what I wanted to say, no regrets regarding that as far as I'm concerned
- the person who asked
Well, because I have asperger's so even if she likes me I think she'd have to tell me so in order to understand it. I wanna do more than just talking, I want to hold her, kiss her, hold her hand, and that's not happening After every meeting I feel bad because we didn't get to do that so I don't think I could take it once more, even if I'm rejected I need certainty
- someone who replied, again
Is it not happening because you are not making the move or is it not happening because she is unclear about your relationship and not giving you the signs that she’d be open to that sort of romantic escalation?
- someone who replied, again
I might advocate for another way of showing your affection for her. Think about it this way. Let’s say you tell her you like her, she says 1) I like you ) thanks but your just a friend. What do you do if it’s answer 1? How will you escalate that? That answer isn’t going to make it easier to try and grab her hand, hug her or give her a kiss. It’s still gonna be hard. So I’d sooner just recommend going for it and dealing with the consequences.
- someone who replied, again
Either way you’ll find out what she feels about you but telling her you like her doesn’t do anything for her. She already knows that if she’s spending this time with you. Telling her is your way of looking for validation or some sign and to be honest, you don’t actually need that to try and be more romantic with her. Sure it might feel like it would make it easier, but I think you’ve got to try making more of a move romantically
- the person who asked
If she says she just likes me as a friend I'll thank her for her time, wish her a great life and end things with her, I don't like her as a friend
- the person who asked
So, what do you think I should do?
- someone who replied, again
Don’t waste your breath telling her you like her. Show her. Do something about it. If she rejects you you know. If she doesn’t you know. Asking does nothing for you but give you false hope that after you get a yes it will be easier to escalate the relationship but honestly it won’t as much as you think it might. You just have to try
- the person who asked
Ok, what do I specifically do?
- someone who replied, again
Show her that you want to be more than friends. Try holding her hand hug her, put your arm around her shoulder, be romantic with her in small ways that build up the connection between you two
- the person who asked
I've hugged her before, maybe I can kiss her cheek when I hug her next time?
- someone who replied, again
Good idea!
- the person who asked
What else? Like I said, I'm kinda in a hurry As I see it, we've been talking for over 2 months so if she's like me she should like me by now, if she doesn't then more time won't change that
- someone who replied, again
Try hanging out while standing or walking. Making a move is hard sitting down, try and go on a walk, hold hands. Try and put your arm around her shoulder, pull her close, get a feel for if she’s open to you physical touch and if she didn’t reject those you need to go in for a lips kiss.
- the person who asked
That's the problem, I don't know why but she never wants to do anything other than sitting down and talking
- someone who replied, again
We’ll you can still make a move sitting. Have you tried holding hands ? Arm around the shoulder? Caress her arm ?
- the person who asked
No, not yet, she sits in front of me, should I try to sit next to her next time?
- someone who replied, again
Yes
- the person who asked
Ok and how should I try to go for a kiss? Kiss her just like that? Touch her face first? Look at her?
- someone who replied, again
Need to lock eyes first so she knows you are leaning in and isn’t caught off guard. That’s the only real thing to watch out for I’d say
- the person who asked
I'll try
